I just wanted to answer this question posed to me in response to a question asked of them, “Why should anyone extend any more than a basic level of respect to one who cannot respect themself?” I’m answering it here because I cannot possibly squeeze this into an ask box.
My answer: For the sake of my sanity I’m going to try to ignore the insinuation that fat people, as a whole, do not respect themselves, thus do not deserve anymore respect than the lowest baseline expected to be shown to all humans (including pedophiles, rapists and murderers).
The simplest way I can explain why I choose to extend respect to all people is because I know what it is like to hate myself and I know the pain that comes with that. I know what it feels like to be called names, treated like dirt, and humiliated (for me it was because of the size and shape of my body). It is hard to find a way to respect yourself when so many people tell you that you cant. I was depressed, I self-injured, I had to be hospitalized. I found hope and the ability to love myself despite my body over 11 years ago. I still was not at peace with my body. Over the past year, I have found permission to actually love myself the way I am and actually embrace the body I have. I’m a sexy beast (my husband agrees).
I cannot know any other human being’s struggles as astutely as the individual experiencing them. I’m not just talking about body size either. There are a lot of ways humans can struggle. I cannot tell anything about a person by looking at them, except perhaps the level of my own prejudice about the things that I observe about them (some really wise person said something to this effect but I can’t remember who).
I’m fat and I respect myself. I love me. The fat acceptance movement is about giving fat people the power and freedom to love and respect themselves and I suspect this is what really troubles people. I think people are threatened by the idea of people deciding to give popular societal notions the finger and living their life happy anyways.
I choose love. I choose acceptance. I choose respect…. and I do not demand qualifiers.
I hope I’ve made sense, I felt a bit rambly…
”The Disease Called Perfection” by Dan Pearce is an interesting read and I suggest you read it (no pressure). I’ve included a quote.
“Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people’s lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Once you cure yourself of the disease, others will come to you, asking if they can just “talk”. People are desperate to talk. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will tell you of some of the greatest struggles going on. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will break down in tears as they tell you how difficult life is for them. Turns out some of the most “perfect” people around us are human beings after all, and are dying to talk to another human being about it.
You’ll love them for it. And you’ll love yourself even more.”
Have you visited adipositivity.com? I love the message that this site is sending to people. The artistic photography from there has actually helped me find my own beauty!
This is a sample of the photography from the site.
And excerpt from the site:
“The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you’ve clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends.”
Fat people are more than just the fat they carry. They are more than the stereotyped image of the fat person who is lazy and eats all day. They have lives and families. Yet they seem to be open targets for public shame and humiliation. It seems that so many people are all to willing to poke fun at someone who is fat because of some preconceived notion that all fat people choose to be that way. Just because fat is so obvious. It cannot be hidden. It can’t be tucked away within ourselves or stuffed in a box and stored under the bed. It can never be a secret.
People do all kinds of unhealthy things every single day… things that they don’t have to wear with them day after day. These people can still be appreciated for their beauty… why shouldn’t a fat person have the same privileged?
I’m pro-fat acceptance because I am pro-human rights. Fat people have a right to feel comfortable in their own skin. They have a right to leave their houses without shame or fear of being mocked. Other people do not have to like it, but they certainly do not have a right to make someone feel less than human because of it.
Thank you adipositivity, for helping me recognize my own beauty!
And by that, I mean FAT. His exact phrasing, thrown in amongst other random facts he thought were vitally important that I know was, “Why are you so fat?” Not just regular fat, SO FAT.
First I laughed, and responded something like this, “Well, first of all thats not always a nice thing to say to someone. You might hurt someone’s feelings if you say that. But it’s true, I am a little chubby.”
“But, why?” he asked again.
My reply (and stock answer because this happens a few times a year at preschool), “Because God made me in a different size than you. People come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. My size just happens to be a little bigger.”
“Oh. Okay. I saw on tv that if you don’t exercise you get a fat tummy.”
I laughed again. I’m pretty sure his parents watch the biggest loser and his mother happens to be a marathon runner. Then we discussed exercise. I told him I like to go for walks when it’s nice out. He said he likes to run really really really reeeeeally fast.
I love the honesty and purity of kids.
No airbrushing required.
Because I love my body. 100% natural. No fillers, slimmers, shapers or spanx -ers. :)
“Oh no she didn’t! Did she just say she loves her over 300lb, size 26/28 body?!”
Yes, I did. And I am on a mission to inspire every woman reading this to embrace their bodies too!
You can check out her blog by clicking the photo above!
(via ilovefat)Source: curvesappreciationsociety