I believe that fat people are more than just the fat they carry. They are more than the stereotyped image of the fat person who is lazy and eats all day. They have lives and families. Yet they seem to be open targets for public shame and humiliation. It seems that so many people are all too willing to poke fun at someone who is fat because of some preconceived notion that all fat people choose to be that way. Just because fat is so obvious. It cannot be hidden. It can't be tucked away within ourselves or stuffed in a box and stored under the bed. It can never be a secret.
I'm pro-fat acceptance because I am pro-human rights. Fat people have a right to feel comfortable in their own skin. They have a right to leave their houses without shame or fear of being mocked. Other people do not have to like it, but they certainly do not have a right to make someone feel less than human because of it.
I hear so many girls talk about how they want to lose weight so they will feel better about themselves, but that is flawed logic. That is trying to fix something based on the symptom, instead of the root of the problem.
The root of the problem is not your body. The root of the problem is your self esteem.
If you are losing weight so you can love yourself, feel beautiful, etc, that is conditional love. The thing is, life is unpredictable. You could break your leg, and not be able to exercise for a year, and gain 40 pounds. Your relationship could end. You could lose all your hair. And if your self esteem is that fragile, if you are only loving yourself because of the way you look, you aren’t REALLY loving yourself.
Really loving yourself is loving yourself unconditionally - the same way that the people closest to you you love unconditionally.
Would you ever, in a million years, say to a friend, “I love you so much… unless you gain ten pounds. Then we’re done.” or “I’ll think you’re pretty once you go down a few dress sizes.” No. Never. You love them for them, no matter what they are going through, how they feel, or what they look like.
You deserve the same respect.
Loving yourself, and taking care of yourself - that should be your number one priority. Because if you work at it, you get to a really safe place, where you know, you’ll be okay no matter what.
You know that even if you gain 20 pounds, even if the person you are in love with falls out of love with you, even if your hair falls out - even if things that really scare you happen - if you unconditionally love and take care of yourself, you will KNOW that you will be okay. No matter what. You will love yourself no matter what, and know that you are beautiful, no matter what. How nice would that be? To actually really, truly, feel worthy, and loved, and beautiful, regardless of a number on a scale? Just because of you. You you you. Because you fucking DESERVE that.
If you love yourself, you won’t need to lose weight. If you love yourself, you wont’ need anybody else to tell you for you to know that you are beautiful, brilliant, worthy, important, and awesome.
It’s the root of everything. You. You will be with yourself for the rest of your life - you are the most important thing. You might as well make the relationship between you and you a good one, since you’ll be committed to it for a while.
This is where the fat-hating narrative of “calories in, calories out!” and the universal treatment of every human body like it’s a Bunsen burner gets us: It’s all just about personal choice and fatties’ bad choices, without regard for natural variation among human bodies, including disease and disability, individual histories of fad dieting, disordered eating, and/or trauma, or systemic problems like poverty, racism, fat hatred, food deserts, lack of safe outdoor spaces, corn subsidies, meat subsidies, and an entire industry that makes lots and lots of money off of shaming fat people that wouldn’t exist if some people weren’t fat, just for starters.
OBESITY IS PREVENTABLE: Except when it’s not.
Fat people are not only tasked with finding individual solutions to systemic problems; they are, in many cases, asked to somehow overcome their very physiologies and make their bodies do things that they are simply unable to do.”
I am in no way forcing myself to be happy. I have a love for life that perhaps people that put so much stock in being socially acceptable to look at cannot ever understand. I don’t have to be eye candy for the world.
I lived much of my youth being disgusted with myself and believing that I would never be worthy of love. I had people tell me that “No one wanted a big fat cow.” I had zero self-esteem and it showed in my dress and in my demeanor. If only I had known then that I didn’t have to believe all the hurtful things I heard and experienced. I could have saved myself so much pain and abuse. If I hadn’t been so freaking positive that a fat girl could never be loved, maybe I wouldn’t have put myself in the situation that resulted in my rape… and maybe I wouldn’t have been with the man who raped and abused me if I had any inkling that I deserved any better. Maybe I wouldn’t have slashed myself time and time again trying to mask my emotional pain with physical pain. The fat girl that hated herself is dead. I love my life and I am happy!!
If I can reach through to just one person… Just one, and help them see that they are beautiful and deserve to feel loved… then it will all be worth it.
Maybe people are upset because some of us fatties have decided to rise above all the hateful negativity. We’ve decided not to believe the lie that says we cannot be beautiful.
No one is gonna put this fattie in the corner…. not anymore!